28.7.15

Why your Power Gamer is your most valuable player...sometimes

When you see a spider and reach for a shoe, remember this...


You were lied to.

The beastmasters who wrote your beastiary promised you. They promised you that even the most tested adventurer could not defeat such a beast. Claws like spears, teeth like swords, breath like a hot summer day in Hell, even resistance to the great equalizer: magic.

But no. Your night was a complete cluster. A crunchy, nougaty, caramelly cluster of broken plot dreams. It probably went a little something like this:

"The Many-Bladed Dire Marmaduke of Many Blades appears, gnashing all twenty of its jaws, buffeting you with gales of wind from its mountain-sized wings, and terrifying your soul with visions of Pure Chaos in its murder-lusting eyes. Do only stand there and soil yourself, or do you dare attack?"

"Ok dude, lay off the pulp. I attack, by sticking my sword in its skull."

"Roll your pathetic..."

"Awesome! I got a 10!"

"Heh, a ten he says. Even though its obvious to everyone that your soon-to-be-dead adventure missed by a mile, I'll extend to you some common courtesy by asking you one last question, before your PC is consigned to the trash bin: how much does that come to?"

"665."

"....lemme see your sheet. Why are you handing me a binder!?"

"That's my character dude. Hey everyone, can y'all help me roll damage? Paul, I need that gallon ziploc of mini d6's..."

They lied to you! Their lies fill your raging blood with boiling rage! They are probably watching you weep quietly over your empty table now, smugly laughing, knowing that you'll go buy another book that promises even more powerful monsters. You chose that beast as a clear warning that the PC's were no sturdier than the paper that they were writ on! "Guys, she's serious about this dungeon!" they were supposed to whisper to eachother. It would inspire "Teamwork". "Comraderie". "Esprit du corps"!

No! The other players just glared at the bright shining star of the power gamer, like they glare at dog poop on their lawns.

You will have the last laugh though. You will. That email you just typed up and sent to the publishers of the beastiary that burned you will melt their faces, and break their hearts. You will show them CR 14! You'll show them....

In the meantime, what is a DM to do about Power Gamers?

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